


Unpredictable

by Banshees



Category: Teen Wolf (TV), tee - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Flirting, Fluff, Highschool AU, Lydia and Stiles are Best Friends, Lydia is a freshman and Jordan is a senior
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-24
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2018-02-14 12:04:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2191140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Banshees/pseuds/Banshees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lydia Martin had never been good at being who other people wanted her to be. But that came as a good thing because it meant she was unpredictable, and she hated it when people could figure her out. <br/>	And they tried.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Lydia Martin had never been good at being who other people wanted her to be. But that came as a good thing because it meant she was unpredictable, and she hated it when people could figure her out. 

And they tried.

It was spring of freshman year, and she had gone to see her best friend, Stiles play in a lacrosse game. He hadn’t actually gotten any field time, considering he was a freshman and not very good at the sport, but she went to cheer him on anyway. And he loved that about her. 

He loved how she was always supportive, always there by his side. She didn’t even seem to care that he had been in love with her since they were little, which he didn’t mind at all, because at least things weren’t awkward between them. She just accepted that, and he accepted her. It worked.

After the game, she rushed of the bleachers and into the crowd of cheering students that she recognized from going to other games. She quickly found Stiles, patting him on the back.

“You won,” She smiled.

“They won,” he shrugged, taking off his lacrosse pads. “But I did a pretty good job at keeping the bench warm so, hey, I guess that’s something.” 

“You practice with the team, you’re part of the team,” she told him. She said it every time he said something pessimistic about his lacrosse status, but it never lost meaning to him.

“Speaking of being part of the team,” he said, starting to walk away from the field, looking next to him as she walked by his side. “Brady Mullens is having a post-game party at his house to celebrate.”

“Who?” Lydia furrowed her eyebrows, looking over at him. 

“One of the seniors. Doesn’t matter. You want to go scope it out?”

“Sure, but is that okay? I’m not on the team,” she said. “Even though I do make a pretty good cheerleader from the bleachers.”

“Oh no, yeah, it’s totally fine,” he nodded. “It’s not for the team. Well, I mean, it’s not just for the team. I’m pretty sure it’s just an excuse to have a party.”

Lydia nodded in agreement. It was a Friday night, and what else was she going to do? If anything, she could at least drink knowing that Stiles would drive her home safely. 

**********

After Stiles had changed out of his lacrosse gear, he started to drive them to the party. Lydia looked out the window, then at Stiles, who didn’t really look like he knew where he was going.

“Are we lost?” She asked, raising her eyebrows at him.

“What? No,” he shook his head, eyes glued to the road.

“I feel like we’re lost,” she sighed.

“We are not lost. I’ve been following this car since we left the school. So we can’t be lost.”

“Okay, but how do you know that person is going to the party?” 

Stiles looked over at her, sighing. She had a point. Of course she did, it was Lydia. She always had a point, especially when he didn’t want her to.

Why don’t you just call that guy?” She asked. “That Mullens guy.”

“You think I have his number?” Stiles laughed, rolling his eyes.

“Well, he’s on your lacrosse team,” she shrugged.

“Yeah, on the lacrosse team I never play on. I don’t even think the majority of them know my name. Including Coach. I definitely do not have his number.”

“Do you have anybody else’s number? Anybody on the team? Or somebody that might be going?”

“No, I-“ he paused, thinking. “Well, I do have Parrish’s number. He was late for practice once and Coach didn’t have a phone on him, so he called him on mine. I think I saved the number.”

“Jordan Parrish?” Lydia asked, grabbing his phone and searching through his contacts. “Great, that’s great..”

“Lydia, what are you doing?” Stiles asked, quickly glancing over at her.

“I’m calling him for directions,” she said, finding his name and dialing him.

“What? No you’re not. We aren’t friends. You can’t just call him,” he said, trying to grab the phone away from her. “Lyds- don’t-“

“Hello?” Jordan’s voice came through the phone and Lydia yanked it from Stiles’s grip.

“Hi, this is Lydia Martin,” she said, ignoring Stiles’s sighs.

“Who?” He asked.

“Uh, Lydia Martin. I’m friends with Stiles Stilinski.”

“Who?”

“He’s on your lacrosse team. Brown hair, pro benchwarmer.”

“Oh, right. You’re the redhead girl. What can I do for you?"

“We’re on our way to Brady’s party and we’re kind of lost. Can you just give us the address?”

“yeah, sure. It’s 116 Harper street, right off of Pine.”

“Thanks,” Lydia said, hanging up before he could say anything else. 

********

Stiles parked around the corner from the house and they both walked to it, seeing all of the people in the house through the windows. Some of them were on the porch as well, and Stiles stared down a few juniors standing there for staring at Lydia as they walked inside.

The music filled both of their ears as they walked in, slowly submerging into the crowd of people, drinking and talking and dancing. 

“Do you want me to get you a drink?” Stiles shouted over the music.

Lydia nodded, pointing to the back yard. “I’m going to go out there because it looks a little less crowded. Meet you out there?”

Stiles nodded and then left to go get her a drink as Lydia pushed past more people until she was outside. It was still crowded, and she assumed that people from other schools were there as well, since she didn’t recognize a lot of them. However, she did recognize a few standing over by the picket fence that surrounded the backyard. Among them was Jordan Parrish, and he seemed to notice her too, since he started walking towards her. 

“You’re the girl that called me, right?” He asked. “Layla?”

“Lydia,” she corrected. “And yeah, I called you. Why?”

“Just making sure I had the right face associated with the name and voice.”

“Well, you do,” she shrugged, watching as a smirk appeared on his face. 

“Good, then. Can I get you a drink?”

“Actually, Stiles is getting me one right now,” she told him. “He should be back any second now.”

“Oh,” he nodded, smirk fading. “Well, you guys seem good together.”

“Together?” Lydia asked, raising her eyebrows. “Stiles and me? Together? Oh no, we’re not- that’s not- we’re just friends." 

“So I have a chance then?” He asked, smirk on his face again. 

She just started at him in shock, about to open her mouth and say something right as Stiles came over with two red solo cups.

“Hey,” he said, handing the cup to Lydia.

“Thanks,” she said, looking at Jordan who just smiled at her, then walked away.


	2. Approach me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sound of footsteps made her head snap up, preparing for it to be some couple coming there for privacy to hook up. She was prepared to get up and move, but she didn’t. Because it wasn’t some couple with raging hormones coming to release some urges, it was Jordan Parrish, yet again.

It had been about an hour before he came over to her again. She was sitting on the side of the house where nobody else was, trying to get a quick break from the music as she sipped on her beer.

The sound of footsteps made her head snap up, preparing for it to be some couple coming there for privacy to hook up. She was prepared to get up and move, but she didn’t. Because it wasn’t some couple with raging hormones coming to release some urges, it was Jordan Parrish, yet again.

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” he said, leaning against the wall of the house.

"Meeting like what?” She asked. “You following me?”

“You make me sound like some kind of stalker,” he laughed. “I like to think of it as approaching, not following.”

“Well then, why do you keep approaching me?”

“Maybe I wanted to talk to you,” he shrugged, sliding down against the wall to sit next to her.

“Talk to me?” She asked. “About what?”

“I don’t know. Anything.”

“Anything?” Lydia furrowed her eyebrows. “Look, I don’t know what your deal is, but we aren’t friends. We don’t know each other. I called you an hour ago and you didn’t even know who I was, so I don’t understand why I’m worth knowing now.”

“I don’t know, you’re pretty,” he said with a small smile playing on his lips.

Lydia was usually in the know about a lot of stuff. Even though her social status wasn’t really the highest thing, mostly because of her close friendship with Stiles, she still heard things. Like how their old history teacher left midyear for supposedly sleeping with a student, which was not true. Or how Jordan Parrish hit on lots of girls, sleeping with most of them, then never stuck around for a relationship, which she was petty sure was true.

“You’re not my type,” Lydia said, even though she would be lying if she said she didn’t find him extremely attractive. 

“So, Lydia Martin has a type,” he nodded. “Let me just take note of this. Doesn’t like hot seniors on the lacrosse team, prefers skinny brunette benchwarmers that follow her everywhere.”

“I’m not into Stiles,” she sighed. “But I’m glad you found self confidence. Like that wasn’t totally predictable.”

“Predictable?” Jordan repeated, a look of amusement and curiosity on his face. “You think I’m predictable?”

“I know you’re predictable,” she said, looking him up and down. “I mean, come on. Popular high school jock that always gets the girls, then just leaves them hanging. You are literally a walking cliche.”

“So that’s what you think about me?” He asked. “People are more than just what you hear about them, Lydia.”

“I know that,” Lydia said, cheeks flushing. 

“Do you?” He asked, looking over at her.

Lydia nodded, not saying a word. She didn’t want to argue with him over the subject, and she still didn’t really understand why they were even talking. After a second she stood up and so did he. Again, another predictable move on his part. She furrowed her eyebrows at him. 

“What?” She sighed, looking at him expectantly.  
“Do you really hate me so much that you wan’t to go back to that awful party just to get away from me.”

“I don’t hate you,” she mumbled, sitting back down. “But if we’re going to hangout back here, you’re going to need to stop that.”

“Stop what?” Jordan asked, sitting back down as well. 

“Acting like we’re friends,” Lydia said. “Like you know me.”

“I’m pretty sure you were the one acting like you knew me,” he said. It was more of an observation than an accusation, but it got Lydia to shut up.

“Are you going to college?” Lydia asked him after a second, trying to change the subject. She didn’t really know anything about him other than he was a senior and he was on the lacrosse team, but she talked enough about lacrosse with Stiles. 

“College?” He asked. “Uh, no. I don’t think so. I mean, I might eventually but not right after I graduate.”

“Why not?” She asked.

Her eyes had trailed to the ground and she was making a small hole in the dirt with one go her heels, moving her foot in slow circles as she waited for him to respond to her. 

“I’m joining the military,” he stated proudly. 

Lydia stopped moving her foot and looked over at him, chewing the inside of her cheek as she searched for words to respond to that.

“Well, that wasn’t predictable,” she said finally. “I’ll give you that.”

“Why not?” He asked. “Don’t seem brave enough?”

“No,” she shook her head. “You don’t seem selfless enough.”

Jordan nodded, then he turned his entire body to face her, clenching his jaw.

Lydia thought that he was mad at her at first, but then she realized that he looked more disappointed than angry. 

“What are you going to do, Lydia?” He asked. “What are you going to do with your life?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “I’m just a freshman. I’m keeping my options open…”

“Well, before you know it you’ll be graduating high school, looking back and wishing you had done everything differently.”

“Why? Do you wish you had done everything differently?” She sighed, not knowing what he was getting at.

“Not evereything, but a lot. There is a lot I wish that I hadn’t done, and a lot that I never did and wish I had done. And I don’t want to regret this entire night, so I’m going to ask you to dance with me. And you might say no, but you also might say yes, so just think which you would regret more.”

“Yeah,” Lydia sighed, rolling her eyes slightly.

“Yeah?” He repeated as she stood up. 

“Yeah, I’ll dance with you,” she said, and he got up as well. “You’re lucky the song happened to be slow.”

“Guess I am,” he smiled.

Jordan wrapped his arms around her waist and she slipped her arms loosely around his neck, stepping close to him. They both moved slowly to the music, not talking. 

It was nice, Lydia thought, dancing with him like this. She could ignore all of her preconceived ideas about him and just get lost in the music. Once the song ended she pulled back, grabbing her purse from off of the ground. 

“I should go,” Lydia said quietly. “I should go home.”

“Do you want me to drive you?” He asked. “Actually, I had a few drinks…but- I can walk you. If you want.”

Lydia hesitated to answer his question. She knew that he was trying to be nice, and she knew that she should try and focus on how he was to her, and not on all of the stories she had heard about him. It was just hard. 

“Sure,” she nodded, giving in after a minute. “Yeah, walk me home.”

“Okay,” he smiled. It was a genuine smile, not a smirk, which made her feel a little better. “Do you need to tell Stiles?”

“Uh, no, he’s fine,” she said. She would text him later, but she knew that saying she was going home with Jordan Parrish would hurt him. He was fine with the fact she didn’t love him, but she still noticed how disappointed he looked when she talked to him about other guys, or went on dates. 

Not that that is what this was. He was just walking her home.


	3. Walk Me Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jordan nodded, shifting on his feet. He didn’t want to leave. Partly because he wanted to spend more time with her, and partly because he couldn’t drive and his house was kind of a long walk.

Lydia crossed her arms over her chest as they walked, hugging herself tightly to create more warmth in the cool spring air. She was in a short-sleeved dress, so the breeze sent a small shiver through her body.

“Cold?” Jordan asked, looking over at her. “Do you want my jacket?”

“Nope,” Lydia answered, shaking her head. 

“Uh, okay…but if you’re cold-“

“I don’t want your jacket,” she repeated. “Because if I take your jacket, this automatically gets about ten times more romantic, and this is just you walking me home. It’s not romantic. At all. but it will be if you give me your jacket.”

“It’s not going to make it romantic,” Parrish sighed. “Trust me, you’ve made it pretty clear that nothing is going to happen between us. Just take the jacket.”

“Nuh-uh,” Lydia said, rubbing her arms to create more friction and warmth. “I mean, even if it’s not romantic, what happens at the end of the night? Do I give it back? Do I keep it? Because if I kept it I would have to give it back at a later time, which would mean I’d probably have to talk to you at school. So no, no jacket.”

Jordan sighed and took the jacket off, draping it over her shoulders. He was surprised when she didn’t protest, and he decided to drop the subject.

“Why?” Lydia asked after a few minutes of silence, tugging the jacket tighter around her.

“Why what?” He asked, looking over at her.

“Why the military?” Lydia asked. “Is it the fighting? Do you think it’s cool to have big guns and stuff?”

“No,” he shook his head. “It’s more of a continuation.”

Lydia looked over at him and furrowed her eyebrows, not really sure what he was getting at. 

“My dad served,” he told her. “Up until I was ten. So, ever since then I’ve just known that it’s what I want to do. I just need to pick up where he left off.”

“Where’s your dad now?” She asked.

“He lives in New York,” he lied easily. “So I don’t really see him or hear from him very often.”

“So, the guy comes home and then just leaves for New York and doesn’t keep in touch but you’re willing to base your entire life, and risk it, for him?”

Jordan nodded, although almost everything he said was a lie. But if things kept going the way they were going, Lydia and him would probably never hangout like this again, and he wouldn’t have to explain it to her. Lying once was easy, it was keeping up with it that was the hard part.

“Well, at least you have commitment,” she mumbled, turning a corner and walking up to her house. “Well, this is me.”

“Are you forgetting something?” He asked, raising his eyebrows at her. 

“You’re not getting a good night kiss,” she sighed, rolling her eyes.

“Well, somebody got cocky,” he laughed. “I meant the jacket.”

“Oh, right,” she blushed, shrugging it off and handing it to him. “Well, thanks for walking me home.”

“Thanks for dancing with me,” he smiled. 

“I just liked the song,” she shrugged. 

Jordan nodded, shifting on his feet. He didn’t want to leave. Partly because he wanted to spend more time with her, and partly because he couldn’t drive and his house was kind of a long walk.

Lydia just stared at him, trying to read the expression on his face. They hadn’t said goodbye, but it was uncomfortable enough that they didn’t really need to. So why was he still there?

“What are you thinking?” She finally asked after a second.

“I’m just thinking about how I’m supposed to get home,” he shrugged. It was half true.

Lydia sighed, pursing her lips. “Fine, do you want to come in?” 

“What about your parents?” He asked, although he was already making his way towards her door. 

“You need to be quiet.”


	4. Out of Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn’t the room that made him feel out of place, it was the girl that was in the room; the girl that the room belonged to.

It didn’t take long for Jordan to figure out what Lydia’s favorite color was. Her bedroom walls were pink, and so was the large headrest of her bed. Somehow it didn’t seem overdone, though. Somehow he didn’t feel out of place.

Well, he did, but it wasn’t because of the walls, or the bed, or the way that she had makeup scattered along her dresser. It wasn’t the room that made him feel out of place, it was the girl that was in the room; the girl that the room belonged to.

Lydia sat down on her bed, and he was left standing there, awkwardly leaning back against the wall. Part of him wondered if he should sit down next to her, or if she didn’t want that. She gave no indication either way, and so he stuck with leaning against the wall.

“Nice room,” he said after a moment, trying to break the silence. “Very…pink.”

“I like pink,” Lydia shrugged, lying back against the pillows. 

“I see that,” he mumbled. “My favorite is green.”

“Green is nice,” she nodded, chewing on her lip. “Do you want to sit down?”

He didn’t even stop to answer before he climbed onto the other side of her bed, leaning back against the pillows, looking at her for some indication of what he should be doing, but again she gave none. 

“You sure your parents won’t come in? I don’t want to get you in trouble,” he said.

“It’s not like we’re going at it or shooting a porno or anything,” she laughed quietly. “But it’s actually just my mom, and she’s at the other end of the hall so we should be fine.”

“Where’s your dad?” Jordan asked her, moving to lie on his side so he could face her. 

“They're divorced,” Lydia explained. “He lives just a little bit north of Beacon Hills, but I don’t see him much. He made me choose who I wanted to live with, so obviously I chose to live with the parent that wasn’t treating me like some token prize.” 

“Sounds hard,” he said softly. 

“Not really,” she shrugged. “I mean, I know I should care, but I don’t really. And I’m not just saying that.”

Jordan nodded, reaching over and grabbing her hand gently. She just stared at it for a few seconds before she pulled hers away.

“What are you doing?” Lydia asked, furrowing her eyebrows. “What, do you feel bad for me or something? Because I literally just said that I didn’t care.”

“I just wanted to hold your hand,” he said. “I believe you don’t care about that, but I care about holding your hand. So if you don’t care about holding my hand, that’s fine. But don’t not hold my hand because of anything else except the disinterest in holding my hand.”

“You used a double negative,” she mumbled, grabbing his hand again with a sigh. “And look, this isn’t romantic hand holding. I just like to hold hands, okay? It has nothing to do with you.”

“Fine by me,” he smiled, intertwining their fingers. “So, explain it to me.”

“Explain what?” She asked, looking from their hands to his face.

“Why you’re so opposed to anything happen between us,” he said. “I mean, it’s one thing to not be interested in me, but it doesn’t seem like that’s what this is. It just seems like you’re pushing me away. And I know you’ve heard stories about me, but those are stories, Lydia. You know stories, but you don’t know me. And I don’t really know you either. At all. But I do know that right now, we’re sitting in your bed holding hands and talking. So, for as long as this lasts, can you just try to but your thoughts about me aside and just start over?”

Lydia sighed, then she nodded, looking down at their clasped hands. “Yeah, I can do that,” she said quietly. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said with a small smile playing on his lips. 

“I always hated people being in my bed,” she mumbled after a few minutes. “When I had sleepovers when I was little, I used to make the other kid sleep on the floor. And of course I got in trouble because my mom always yelled at me about how I had a queen sized bed for a reason and how it was rude to make friends sleep on the ground.”

“Are you going to make me sleep on the ground?” He laughed quietly. “Is that what you’re getting at?”

“No,” she shook her head. “It’s just weird, to have somebody on here with me. Especially you.”

“What does that mean?” He asked. 

“I don’t know, I just don’t really understand it. You and me.”

“So there’s a you and me now?” He half-teased.

“I said you and me, not us. Don’t get ahead of yourself.”

“I won’t,” he smiled. 

“So, why me?” Lydia asked. “You could literally have any girl in the school, and you chose the freshman with no interest in you to spend the night with?”

“Your eyes,” he answered simply.

“My eyes,” she repeated, furrowing her brows. 

“Well, I’ve seen you around and I’ve always thought you were beautiful, I just didn’t know who you were. Then I saw you at the party and decided to talk to you, since you called me earlier. I thought it might make it a little less uncomfortable. And when you didn’t seem interested I was about to leave it be, but then I saw your eyes.”

“What’s so great about my eyes?” Lydia asked.

“My dad was stationed in Afghanistan twice. After the first time he was there he came home and there was just something different about him. It was like part of himself had been left over there, and although he physically looked pretty much the same, there was still something different about him every time I looked at him. After a few days I realized that it was his eyes. They were blank, like the feeling had just been sucked out of them. Like they lost their spark. Ever since then, I started to notice that a lot of people were like that. It wasn’t as drastic, but it was still something. But then I looked in your eyes, and I saw that spark, that fire, and I didn’t want anybody to burn it out of you.”

“So…you came to protect my eyes?” She asked, chewing on her bottom lip.

“Yeah, in a way, I guess,” he nodded. “Can I hold you?”

“Uh, we an try that. Yeah,” she said quietly, a little taken back by the question. 

She rolled over so her back was to him and he moved closer to her, wrapping his arm around her torso and holding her hand. She let out a small sigh, closing her eyes. 

“Still isn’t romantic,” she mumbled after a second.

“Of course not,” he whispered, but she had already fallen asleep.


	5. Through the Window

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bed was in just the right spot for the sun to shine right on it in the morning. When Lydia was younger, it used to wake her up early, but now she had become so accustomed to it that it wasn’t the sun shining through the curtains that woke her, it was the knocking on the door.

The bed was in just the right spot for the sun to shine right on it in the morning. When Lydia was younger, it used to wake her up early, but now she had become so accustomed to it that it wasn’t the sun shining through the curtains that woke her, it was the knocking on the door.

“Lydia?” Her mom’s voice called out, knocking again. “I made pancakes.”

Lydia quickly sat up once she processed that her mom was talking to her. She shook Jordan awake and he grunted loudly. Lydia put her hand over his mouth and he sat up, looking over at her.

“My mom is right outside,” she whispered, removing her hand.

“Your mom…” he said slowly. “Your mom?”

“Lydia?” She called out again. “Sweetheart, you awake?”

“Yeah, Mom. One second,” she called out, then she looked at Jordan. “You need to hide.”

Lydia’s mom went to open the door, twisting the nob. Lydia’s eyes widened and she knew she had to think fast.

“Don’t come in,” she said quickly. “I-uh- I’m naked.”

“You’re naked?” her mom asked. “Why are you naked?”

“It got really hot last night,” she said, turning her attention back to Jordan. “Okay, get under the bed.”

“Under the bed?” He asked quietly. 

“Lydia?” Her mom’s voice came through again.

“Let me just get on some underwear,” Lydia shouted, practically pushing Jordan off of the bed. He hit the ground with a thump causing Lydia to wince at the noise.

“What was that?” Her mom asked.

“Just me….aggressively putting on my underwear….” Lydia said, taking off her clothes and throwing them into a corner so she was only in her bra and underwear. She opened the door for her mom, leaning against the frame.

“Hey…” she said, smiling awkwardly.

“Uh, hi…” Her mom said, holding up a plate of pancakes.

“Thank you, “ she said, taking the plate. “Smells great. So, I’m going to eat. Can you run to the store and get more orange juice? We do’t have any.”

“You hate orange juice,” your mom raised her eyebrows.

“I changed my mind. I love it now. Please go get some,” Lydia said, shutting the door in her mom’s face.

“Uh, okay, I’ll be back soon.” she said, then she walked away.

Lydia let out a sigh of relief, watching out the the window until her mom drove away. “Okay you can get up now,” she sighed.

Jordan stood up. looking her up and down and laughing quietly to himself. “Nice look, Martin.” 

Lydia looked down and remembered she was just in her bra and underwear. She grabbed the sheet off her bed and wrapped it around her. “Shut up and get out.”

“Kicking me out so soon?” He asked, laughing quietly.

“It’s almost noon. And you need to go before my mom gets home.”

“Fine,” he nodded, but didn’t move.

“Well?” Lydia asked. “What are you waiting for? Go…”

“Give me your number,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“My number?” She asked. “Are you kidding me? I’m seriously about to kill you.”

“I’m not leaving until I have your number,” he shrugged.

Lydia sighed. “Give me your phone,” she said. “Quickly.” 

He took his phone out of his pocket and handed it to her with a smile. She quickly added her contact and number, then she handed it back to him.

“Thank you, I’ll call you….or text. I’ll probably text not call,” he said.

“Okay, great, I’m sure you will,” she sighed, motioning to the door. “Now go….”

He nodded and pocketed his phone again. “Thanks for letting me hold you,” he said, then he walked out of the room. 

She watched out the window as he left, making eye contact with him quickly at one point when he looked up at her. She quickly moved away and slid down against the wall, letting out a small grunt.


	6. Texts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia drove to school that monday, dying to ignore her thoughts about having spent the night with Jordan that weekend. They hadn’t even spoken before then, and everything just felt really confusing. It wasn’t helping that she had to convince herself every other second that she didn’t feel anything.

Lydia drove to school that monday, dying to ignore her thoughts about having spent the night with Jordan that weekend. They hadn’t even spoken before then, and everything just felt really confusing. It wasn’t helping that she had to convince herself every other second that she didn’t feel anything.

As she walked over to her locker, Stiles ran up to her. Usually she would be happy to see him, especially because he could definitely distract her from the thoughts going through her head, but she had been ignoring him all weekend.

“Hey, where did you disappear off to on friday? And how come you never answered any of my texts.” He asked, leaning against the locker next to hers. “I was starting to think you were kidnapped or something."

“Uh, I went home. It was too loud,” Lydia told him. It was the truth, but she still felt nervous telling him.

“You walked home by yourself?” He asked. “I would have left with you, Lyds…you could have just told me you wanted to go.”

“I didn’t actually walk by myself,” she mumbled, grabbing some books from her locker. 

“Who did you walk home with?” He raised his eyebrows.

“Uh, Jordan Parrish,” she said quietly, shutting her locker door and starting to walk towards her first class. 

“Jor-what- Jordan Parrish?” He asked, following her quickly.

“Uh, yeah…but it wasn’t like that. Nothing happened.”

“So, he just dropped you off, then?” Stiles asked, feeling a little relieved. 

“Uh, well, he kind of stayed the night…” She admitted, going into the classroom quickly before she could be asked any more questions. She had never been more relieved that they didn’t have biology together. 

**********

As she made her way to lunch, she heard footsteps rushing towards her, then stopping when they were right behind her. She sighed, shaking her head.

“Stiles, look, if you’re going to get mad-“ She paused when she turned her head to see Jordan behind her. “What are you doing?”

“Look at your phone,” he said, smirk on his face.

Lydia sighed and pulled out her phone, opening up a text from a random number that she assumed was his. ‘You’d look better in my jacket,’ the text read, making Lydia roll her eyes. 

“Why did you send me this?” Lydia asked him.

“I told you I’d text you,” he said, smiling at her.

“Great,” she mumbled, continuing to walk through the hall. 

“Wow, getting the cold shoulder again,” he said, following her. “Any particular reason? Because you were the one that shoved me off of the bed, not the other way around.”

“You do know I’m fifteen, right?” Lydia asked, looking over at him.

“Yeah…so? I’m not aloud to have freshmen friends?” 

“You aren’t trying to be my friend, you’re trying to be more,” she sighed.

“Not necessarily. I just liked spending time with you. Did you like spending time with me?” 

“No,” she said quickly. “I don’t know. Kind of. But I’m not into you.”

“I don’t believe you,” he said, causing Lydia to stop walking and turn to stare at him.

“Seriously?” Lydia asked. “Why would I be into you? Because you’re Jordan Parrish, super hot captain of the lacrosse team? We barely know each other and I am not into you.” She huffed, glad that there wasn’t anybody else in the hall to hear her snap at him.

“You think I’m super hot?” He smiled, looking at her.

“What? No,” she shook her head. “I- I was just saying what everybody seems to think of you.”

“Including you,” he said, not even attempting to wipe the stupid grin off of his face. “Come on, Lydia. You think I’m super hot, and I think that you’re super hot.”

“I think you’re attractive, yeah, but I don’t like you. I don’t have feelings for you,” she said, voice unsteady. 

“Look me in the eyes and tell me that you felt nothing. Tell me you felt nothing that entire night and I will leave you alone.”

Lydia just stared at him, about to open her mouth and tell him that she didn’t feel anything, but something stopped her, and she was really hating herself from that. Her heart was punning in her chest as she tried to find words to say to him. But for a good minute her mind went blank.

“I- I can’t,” she finally said. 

He nodded, taking her hand and squeezing it once before he walked away from her. 

“What- where are you-“ Lydia furrowed her eyebrows, then she felt her phone vibrate in her purse and she took it out, seeing a text from him. ‘Dinner on friday,’ it read. ‘Pick you up at 8.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are very much appreciated! Thank you for reading :)


	7. A challenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you mad at me?” Lydia asked, letting out a small sigh. “Because I swear there is nothing going on with us. He isn’t my type.”
> 
> “Nobody’s your type,” he sighed quietly.

When lunch rolled around, Lydia took a seat at her usual table, the one that Stiles was already sitting at. It was usually just them, since they were so close they didn’t really have a need for other friends.

“So, you and Parrish had a sleepover,” Stiles said as soon as she sat down.

“Uh…yeah…kind of,” Lydia nodded, taking out her lunch. “He walked me home, and we had both had a little to drink, and since Jordan’s house was too far to walk to, he just slept over.”

“Oh, so you guys are on a first name basis now?” Stiles asked, biting into his sandwich.

“Well, we aren’t on a last name basis,” Lydia said, furrowing her eyebrows.

“Right. Team thing,” Stiles mumbled, chewing his peanut butter and jelly aggressively. 

“Are you mad at me?” Lydia asked, letting out a small sigh. “Because I swear there is nothing going on with us. He isn’t my type.”

“Nobody’s your type,” he sighed quietly.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Lydia asked, offended. 

“I mean, you see people you like, but as soon as they like you back, you lose interest. You only like people that don’t like you back because it’s a challenge.”

“People I can’t have,” she mumbled, looking down. She quickly stood up after a second, looking around. “Stiles, I’m sorry, I need to go.”

“Wait, Lyds- where are you-“

Lydia walked out to the hallway just as the bell rung, seeing Jordan walking out of a class. She grabbed him by the arm, pulling him around the corner to a spot that would offer them some solitude. 

“Lydia? What are you-“

“You could have any girl in the school,” she said quickly. “And you want me because I don’t want me. You just like a challenge.”

“What?” He asked, furrowing his eyebrows. “Lydia, what are you talking about?”

“You like me because I don’t like you,” she said again. “But the joke’s on you, because I do like you.”

“I know,” he nodded. “I like you too, Lydia…”

“What?” Lydia asked. “No no no…you aren’t supposed to like me! You’re only supposed to like me because I don’t like you! You’re not supposed to like me when I like you!”

“Well, too bad,” he shrugged.

He put his hand on her waist, slowly moving her closer to him. Jordan’s lips were soon crashing against Lydia’s, and she closed her eyes, starting to kiss back.


	8. Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia felt awful. She felt awful for lying to him for keeping things from him, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him. He clearly wasn’t very fond of Jordan, and she couldn’t blame him. She hadn’t liked him before either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't proof read so sorry for mistakes.
> 
> also, please comment! I love reading them:)

Lydia pulled away as he final bell rang, rolling her eyes at he way Jordan smiled a her. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking him up and down.

“What?” She asked. 

“Nothing, you’re just a good kisser,” he told her, leaning in for another kiss before she put her hand on his chest to stop him.

“Nope,” she said, raising her eyebrows. “That was the final bell. We have class.”

“Class can wait,” he murmured, pressing his lips to hers again.

Lydia kissed back for a few seconds before she gently pushed him back again, giving him a small smile as she shook her head.

“Go to class, Jordan,” she said, then she walked away, heading towards the economics classroom.

Lydia sat down at an empty table at the back, trying to keep her distance from Stiles’s seat towards the front. It wasn’t much use, since he quickly switched seats as soon as she sat down.

“Is this going to start being a thing?” Stiles whispered, looking over at her.

“Is what?” She asked, eyes glued to her paper so she wouldn’t have to look at him.

“You just running off…”

“It’s not like I was running away from you,” she sighed. “I just had to talk to somebody.

“Somebody meaning Parrish,” Stiles rolled his eyes. It was more of an accusation than a question.

“There is nothing going on with Jordan and me,” Lydia insisted, though she felt bad for keeping things from him. 

“Right,” he mumbled. 

“Okay, I was talking to him,” she admitted. “But there’s nothing going on. I promise. Stiles, you’re my best friend, okay? I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Stiles sighed, then he nodded, eyes trailing back to his work as he tuned in to what the teacher was talking about. 

Lydia felt awful. She felt awful for lying to him for keeping things from him, but she couldn’t bring herself to tell him. He clearly wasn’t very fond of Jordan, and she couldn’t blame him. She hadn’t liked him before either. 

After the bell rang, Lydia gathered her stuff and stood up from her desk, making her way to the door. Stiles followed after her, fixing the strap of his backpack on his shoulder.

“Are you still coming to the game on friday?” He asked her.

“Yeah, of course,” she nodded. “I come to all of your-“

Lydia trailed off, furrowing her eyebrows. If the game was on friday, why would Jordan ask her out to dinner that night? He was the captain of the team. 

“You okay?” Stiles asked her. 

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. Look, I know I promised that me running off wasn’t going to become a thing, but-“

“But you need to run off,” he sighed.

“Kind of. But I promise I’ll be at the game.” She quickly hugged him, then she picked up her pace and walked quickly down the hall, looking around for Jordan.

He was the one who found her first, though, and she squealed as she gelt his hands grab her waist. She turned around quickly to see who it was, rolling her eyes at him.

“Looking for me?” He smirked.

“Actually, yeah,” she sighed. “Why did you ask me out for friday if you have a game? Was it so you’d have a reason to cancel? Because if you didn’t want to go on a date, you shouldn’t have asked me.”

“Shit,” Jordan mumbled, looking down.

“What? Upset that I figured it out?” Lydia asked. “Upset that I’m not just some stupid freshman girl you could break the heart of?”

“What?” He asked, looking up at her with furrowed brows. “Lydia, I’m upset that I forget about the game. I really wanted to take you out. I just didn’t want to wait, so I picked the earliest time. I forgot I had the game.”

“Oh,” Lydia mumbled.

“Lydia, I want to go out with you. I really want to get to know you better, okay? There’s a party going on after, so why don’t I take you to that as my date?”

“Yeah, okay,” Lydia nodded.

“I like you, Lydia Martin,” he said softly, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“I like you too.”


	9. Closets to hide in.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I’m not going to only talk to you in private, and I’m not going to be your secret. I’m not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait, I know I'm the worst!
> 
> If you have any questions or prompt, send them to my blog on tumblr! Marrishable.tumblr.com

They spent the next few days being overly secretive. Jordan kept telling her that it was fine, nobody was going to suspect anything if they were just seen talking to each other, but Lydia insisted on the secret meet ups.

Part of it was because she liked sneaking around. It gave it more of an adventure feel. But mostly it was because she was so desperate for Stiles not to find out. 

“What’s wrong?” Jordan sighed against her neck. They were in the custodian closet this time, one of Lydia’s favorite make out spaces in the school, despite its small size.

“Should I tell him?” She asked. “I should tell him, shouldn’t I?”

“Tell who?” Jordan asked, furrowing his eyebrows. “Stiles?”

“Yes, obviously,” Lydia mumbled, rolling her eyes slightly. “I mean, he’s my best friend.”

“Then tell him,” he said, going back to kissing her neck.

“I can’t do that. Are you crazy?” She asked, getting a small shrug from him. Some days he swore he would never be ever to keep up with her. And he liked that the most. 

“Lydia, do you really think he’ll be mad at you?” He asked her after a moment of carefully choosing his words.

“He’s been in love with me since I can remember. And he doesn’t like you. So, yeah, I think he will.”

“Wait, Stiles doesn’t like me?” He frowned. “Why?”

“I don’t know. That’s not really the problem right now, though. I just- I need to know what to do,” she mumbled.

“Well, I’m telling you to tell him, and you’re not listening to my advice. So I don’t know what to say to you…”

Lydia sighed and kissed him, then she pulled back and looked in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I just- I don’t want to tell him. And it’s easier when you tell me not to tell him, then I can have a reason not to.”

“Well, I want to tell him. I’m sorry, but I want people to know about us. Because I really like you, and I just don’t want to hide that anymore.”

Lydia bit her lip and nodded. “Okay,” she nodded. “Just give me some time to figure out how to tell him,” she said as the bell rang. 

Jordan sighed. “Fine,” he nodded, kissing her neck.

Lydia chuckled softly, then she grabbed her purse off of the floor and walked out. He followed suit and walked out a few seconds after her.

*****

Stiles walked up to her after school, putting his arm around his shoulder. “So, the game on friday…there’s this party after, and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me?”

Lydia froze, biting her lip. “Uh, yeah, sure,” she said after a moment. “Yeah. Sounds good…great..yeah.”

Stiles furrowed his eyebrows. “You alright?” He asked. 

Lydia nodded quickly. “Yeah, of course. definitely.”

Stiles smiled and walked away, leaving Lydia to mentally slap herself. When she ran into Jordan after school, she quickly pulled him aside. 

“Problem,” she said. 

“Great, what is it?” He asked, frowning slightly.

“Stiles invited me to that party. And I couldn’t tell him I was going with you, so I said yes. But we can just meet up there, right?” She asked, gaining no response from him. “Jordan?”

“You really need to figure it out,” he said quietly. 

“What?” She asked, looking up at him.

“What it is that you want. I like you Lydia, but I’m not going to do this. You need to make up your mind, okay? I’m tired of this. It’s not fair to me, alright? I’m not going to hide in closets to kiss you anymore, I’m not going to only talk to you in private, and I’m not going to be your secret. I’m not.”

Lydia looked down closing her eyes. “Jordan,” she said, but he just walked away.


	10. heartbreaker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lydia will break your heart,” he sighed. “She needs to be loved. She needs people to love her. But she will never love anybody back because that would put her in danger.”
> 
> “In danger of what?” Jordan asked.
> 
> “Feeling everything you’re feeling right now.”

Jordan went to the locker room, gritting his teeth. He yelled loudly, then smashed his fists against the wall. He hated getting attached to people, and now the girl he cared about didn’t even want to be seen with him.

Stiles was sitting on one of the benches, staring at him. “Uh…you okay?” He asked. 

Jordan took a breath,not turning to look at him. He didn’t need to, he recognized the voice. “Great…this is just great. What are you doing here?”

“It’s the locker room, dude,” he said, rolling his eyes. “And it’s not like I’m the one in here screaming and hitting things.”

“I’m angry,” Jordan snapped.

“Never would have guessed,” Stiles sighed. “Is it Lydia?”

Jordan finally turned to look at him. “What? I- I don’t-“

“Save it,” Stiles said. “It’s obvious.”

Jordan moved to sit on the bench next to him, looking down at his hands in his lap. His knuckles were starting to bleed, and he kept them balled into fists even as he relaxed. “How did you know?”

“It’s always Lydia,” he sighed. “Try loving her. It sucks.”

“Only if she doesn’t love you back,” Jordan said, a bit of edge to his voice.

“Look, man. I don’t doubt that she likes you. But she won’t love you. It’s Lydia.”

“What does that mean?” Jordan asked, looking over at him.

“Lydia will break your heart,” he sighed. “She needs to be loved. She needs people to love her. But she will never love anybody back because that would put her in danger.”

“In danger of what?” Jordan asked.

“Feeling everything you’re feeling right now.” He answered So you can like Lydia. You can even love her. And she can like you. A lot, even. But if you’re looking for somebody to love you, she is not that person.”

Jordan shook his head, standing up and leaving the room.

*******

Lydia went to the game friday night, watching halfheartedly. She tried not to look at Jordan, since he was already flooding her thoughts. She tried not to focus on anything, just waiting until the final buzzer sounded and their team started cheering with victory. 

Stiles came over to her, smiling. “Hey, ready to go?” He asked. 

Lydia nodded, looking around for Jordan before she followed Stiles to his car.

Stiles drove them to the party, staying silent the whole ride. He could tell she didn’t want to talk, and due to the conversation he had earlier, he knew it was because of Jordan.

He pulled up to the house, running to the other side of his jeep and opening the door for her. She gave him a nod of thanks and got out, pulling her coat close against her chest for warmth. 

Stiles took her arm and walked in with her, getting her a drink. She took small sips, looking around.

“I don’t think he’s here yet,” Stiles said after a moment.

Lydia looked at him. “What? Who?”

“You know who,” he sighed. “Why did you lie to me?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, shaking her head. 

“Yes, you do,” He said. “It’s so obvious. And I don’t even care that you’re seeing him or whatever it is that you’re doing, but the fact that you didn’t tell me? We’re best fucking friends, Lydia.”

“I didn’t want you to get mad,” she mumbled. “I was just trying to be a good friend.”

“Well, you aren’t a good friend, Lyds. You’re not. You lie, and you sneak around, and you know I’ll put up with whatever you do because I love you and it isn’t fair.”

“I didn’t ask you to love me!” She yelled at him. “That’s not my fault!”

“You’re right, it’s not. But it is your fault how you treat everybody else! You’re just the center of your world, and everybody else is just living in it.”

“Fuck you,” she said, walking away from him.


	11. You've done enough.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lydia pushed passed the crowd of people, making her way up the stairs. There were tears streaming down her face, Stiles’s words hitting her hard. She tried opening bathroom door, which was locked, then she tried the bedroom. She knocked once before opening the door.

Lydia pushed passed the crowd of people, making her way up the stairs. There were tears streaming down her face, Stiles’s words hitting her hard. She tried opening bathroom door, which was locked, then she tried the bedroom. She knocked once before opening the door. 

She was met with the sight of a guy in the bed, naked and on top of a girl whose red hair was cascading down the side of the mattress. The guy quickly turned his head when he heard the door open, and Lydia’s eyes met those of Jordan’s.

“Fuck,” He muttered. 

Lydia stared at him for a second, then she left the room, making her way back down the stairs. 

Jordan quickly got up and pulled on his boxers, following after her quickly. “Lydia! Lydia, wait!”

She was already engulfed in the crowd of people, and he made his way through it, trying to find her. He ran into Stiles first, though, who looked him up and down. 

“Why don’t you have any clothes on?” He asked, raising his eyebrows, then it hit him. “Oh my god.”

“I really need to find Lydia. Have you seen her?” He asked, looking around quickly.

“Oh my god, you’re an idiot,” Stiles said sternly. “Please tell me that you did not just do what I think you did.” 

“Stiles, please, just help me find Lydia. Please, I need to-“ He was cut off by Stiles’s fist hitting him in the face. 

“No. Do not go after her. You’ve done enough. Fuck you,” he said, walking outside to be away from the noise as he dialed Lydia’s phone.

Jordan followed him, his nose bleeding. “Stiles, please, I’m sorry…Just help me find her.”

“Well, it looks like she doesn’t want to be found,” he sighed. “She’s not answering her phone.”

“Maybe she doesn’t have it on?” He suggested. 

“She always has her phone on,” Stiles sighed. “Come on, you’re gonna help me look.” 

“I thought you didn’t want me to,” Jordan sighed.

“Yeah, well, now I’m worried,” he said.

They searched thoroughly through the house, looking at each person’s face to make sure it wasn’t her. 

“Any luck?” Jordan asked when he ran into Stiles again. He just shook his head. 

“No. You stay in here in case we missed something. I’ll go look around the street. She doesn’t have a car so she probably didn’t get far,” he said, making his way outside.

Jordan kept looking, not stopping even when he was sure that he had searched the house at least five times. He got a call from Stiles about an hour later and he picked up his phone. “Yeah? Did you find her?” 

“I need help,” Stiles breathed.


	12. Wake up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Lydia, I found her…” He said. “She’s not- she’s not waking up.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING (SPOILERS): This chapter features a suicide attempt. Please do not read if this content will be harmful to you in any way! x

Jordan froze slightly at his words, clutching the phone tighter in his hands. “What’s wrong?” He asked, trying to keep his breathing even as he walked outside to get away from the blaring music.

“Lydia, I found her…” He said. “She’s not- she’s not waking up.”

Jordan’s heart felt like it stopped. He took a deep breath after a second, though it felt like forever, and he started walking away from the house. “Where are you?”

“There’s a little river down the hill from the house, between the road and the woods. Theres a small bridge that crosses it. I’m there.”

Jordan hung up the phone, running and making his way through peoples back yards until he saw the bridge. He ran down the hill, almost toppling over from the alcohol he had consumed. He saw Stiles holding Lydia when he got closer, watching as he brushed the hair out of her face. “Lyd- Lydia,” he mumbled, falling to his knees next to them. “What happened?” He asked Stiles, looking at the bruises and cuts on Lydia’s face and body.

“I found her in the river,” Stiles whimpered. “She was face down. I think she- I think she dove off the bridge.”

“Are you kidding me? It’s so shallow. It’s barely even a fucking river!” He snapped, his heart rate picking up rapidly. He took Lydia out of Stiles’s arms and checked to make sure she was breathing. She was, but barely. “Stiles, call an ambulance.”

Stiles got out his phone and did so, not taking his eyes off of Lydia.

“Come on, wake up,” Jordan murmured, pressing his forehead against Lydia’s. “Please, I need you. I’m sorry. I need you.” He had his hand on her heart, feeling the beat as it slowly faded. “No, no, Lydia- Lydia, you need to listen to me. “You need to listen to me. I need you. I love you. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please- please wake up. Please.”

Stiles watched him, crying quietly as the sound of sirens came into earshot. He held his phone close to his chest, trying not to have a panic attack. 

“Lydia,” Jordan mumbled quietly when he couldn’t feel her heartbeat anymore. “Lydia, no. No. Lydia! Lydia wake up! Wake up! Wake the fuck up, Lydia! Wake up!” 

The Paramedics came rushing down the hill when they got there, having to pry Lydia out of Jordan’s arms when they got there. He screamed for her, but Stiles just wrapped his arms around him and held him back as best as he could.


	13. Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His legs wouldn’t stop tapping, and he kept his face in his hands.

When they got to the hospital, Jordan sat in a waiting room chair next to Stiles. His legs wouldn’t stop tapping, and he kept his face in his hands.

Stiles was mad at him, for everything he had done at the party, but he knew how much he cared about Lydia. He had heard him say that he loved her back at the bridge. And he knew how he was feeling, how scared he must have been, but the difference was that Jordan was also feeling guilt on top of everything. 

“Are you okay?” Stiles asked after a few minutes, looking over at him.

“What if she dies?” Jordan mumbled, ignoring his initial question. “It’s my fault. I’ll have killed her.”

Stiles swallowed, looking back down. “Please stop talking.”

Jordan shook his head. “I couldn’t feel her heartbeat,” he mumbled. “She was so still…”

“Jordan, shut up!” Stiles yelled, standing up. “Just, please, fucking shut up.” He closed his eyes, running his hands over his face. 

Jordan curled up in his chair, starting to cry. Stiles sighed, seeing Lydia’s mom come in through the hospital doors. She was looking around, clearly unsure of what to do.

Stiles quickly stood up and went over to her. “Natalie…are you okay? Lydia’s in one of the rooms. They’re trying to help her. It’ll be okay.” He brought her over to the front desk and they brought her back into the room because she was family. When Stiles went back to the waiting room, Jordan was gone.

********

Jordan had gone outside, running away from the hospital as fast as his feet could take him. He ran until he couldn’t anymore, then he called a cab and took it to Lydia’s house. He grabbed a roc and broke the window next to the door, then he reached his arm inside and unlocked it.

He went into the house, quickly going up the stairs and climbing to Lydia’s bed. He grabbed the stuffed giraffe of of her bedside table and hugged it tight as he curled up underneath her blankets. She held the stuff animal closed to his chest as he started to sob, overwhelmed by the unclear fate of Lydia’s life. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered between sobs, even though there was nobody in the room to hear him. “I’m sorry….I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to hurt anybody….I’m sorry…”

He ended up falling asleep like that, not waking up until a few hours later when his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and read Stiles’s name. He hesitated, taking a deep breath before he answered, not saying anything.

“Jordan?” Stiles asked after a few seconds, once he had realized that the line wasn’t still ringing.

“Yeah?” He asked, wiping his eyes.

“Where are you?” Stiles asked quickly. “Lydia woke up. Why aren’t you here?”

Jordan quickly sat up, still clutching the stuffed giraffe. “Coming,” he said, then he quickly got u and called another cab, going back to the hospital.

When he got there, he went straight to Lydia’s room, not even knocking before he walked in. He had to see her. He had to see that she was okay.

Stiles was sitting in the chair next to her bedside, holding her hand. They both looked at Jordan, and then Lydia gave a small nod to Stiles. He got up and left the room, leaving the two of them alone. 

“Hi,” he mumbled, taking the seat that Stiles had left. When she didn’t respond, he took the giraffe out of his pocket and handed it to her.

“Thanks,” she mumbled, holding it close to her.

“How do you feel?” He asked after a moment. “Are you in pain?”

“From what?” She asked. “Almost dying or from you cheating on me?”

He looked down, wiping his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Lydia. I’m really fucking sorry. I know that doesn’t matter, but I am. And you can’t kill yourself. Okay? I can’t- I can’t lose you. And I know I don’t get to say that because I cheated on you, but you were right. I’m not selfless. I care about what I need, and I need you. Okay? I can’t- I just- I love you."


	14. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love you. 
> 
> It took Lydia a few minutes to process that he actually said it, and she spent awhile just staring at him. Eventually her expression turned from shock to anger, and she glared at him, gritting her teeth.

I love you. 

It took Lydia a few minutes to process that he actually said it, and she spent awhile just staring at him. Eventually her expression turned from shock to anger, and she glared at him, gritting her teeth. It was the last thing she wanted to hear when she was sitting in a hospital bed right after he cheated on her. It would have been easier if he just said he hated her. But him saying that he loved her made things complicated. 

“Get out,” she said sternly.

“What?” He asked. “Lydia, come on...I-”

“I said get out!” She yelled, tears in her eyes.

“Lydia, please...I- I’m sorry,” he stuttered, standing up. “I’m sorry...I didn’t- I didn’t mean to hurt you…”

“Go away! I don’t want to see you right now!” She cried. “Please! Just get out! Go away!”

“O-okay,” he nodded, wanting to make things better for her. He looked at the giraffe in his hand and then handed it to Lydia. “Here,” he said, then he left the room.

Lydia stared at the stuffed giraffe, confused as to where he got it. She closed her eyes, curling up with it and crying quietly. 

*****

Jordan went out to the waiting room, sitting down in a chair and putting his head in his hands. Stiles was there a few chairs down, and he looked over at him before he moved to the seat next to him, resting his hand on the top of his back.

“Did you talk to her?” Stiles asked him.

“Briefly,” Jordan mumbled.

“How is she?” he asked.

“She’s mad at me,” he mumbled. “I don’t blame her. I hate me too right now. I told her that I love her and she yelled at me to get out. Guess you were right about her not loving me back.”

“Are you kidding?” Stiles asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

“Uh, no? Why?” Jordan asked.

“She tried to kill herself after you cheated on her. If you think she doesn’t love you, you’re an idiot.”

“But you said-”

“I was wrong,” he sighed. “So you need to make this better, okay?”

“How am I going to do that when she doesn’t even want to talk to me?” Jordan sighed. 

“You ease her into it. Go in there and just sit in there when she’s sleeping so she sees that you’re there when she wakes up. So she sees that you care. Don’t fight her. If she tells you to leave, you leave. She loves you. She’ll want to talk to you eventually. You just need to be patient and give her time.”

Jordan nodded, wiping his eyes with his palms. “Okay,” he said quietly. “Can you go talk to her? Just make sure she’s feeling okay?”

Stiles nodded, giving the older boy a tight hug before he went to Lydia’s room. He knocked on the door before stepping inside. He gave her a small smile and moved to sit down on the chair next to her bed. 

“Hey, how are you feeling?” He asked her. 

“My head and neck are killing me,” she told him. “Guess thats what happens when you dive head first into a stream…”

“Yeah, probably not the best idea,” he said, eyes trailing to the brace around her neck. “Did you break it?” He asked.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “They’re surprised I survived. So am I. Probably should have gone with something more soundproof like jumping off a building or something.”

“That’s not funny,” he said quietly. “We were so scared…”

“We being you and Jordan?” She asked. “I don’t really care how he feels.”  
“Yes, you do,” Stiles said. “You care about him. Or you wouldn’t have done this. You know that.”

Lydia looked down, nodding slowly. “He brought me Camelo,” she said, holding up the stuffed giraffe. “Do you know how he got it?”

“No,” he shook his head. “Where was it?” 

“In my room...next to my bed. Did you guys go there after you brought me here?”

“Uh, no. At least I didn’t,” he said. “Jordan went somewhere. I don’t know where, though.”

“Do you think I should forgive him?” Lydia asked after a minute of thinking it over.

“Well, do you want to?” Stiles asked her. “I can’t really decide that for you, Lyds…”

“I don’t know,” she sighed, biting her lip. “I don’t want to forgive him….but I don’t want to lose him either…”

“Well, I think you have a choice to make,” he said softly, giving her hand a small squeeze. 

Lydia nodded in agreement.


End file.
